I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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