Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
