I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
