i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What a dumb baby whore.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
