WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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