My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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