pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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