I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
