This girl is more easily done than said...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
