she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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