I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That's intense
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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