Your tits are I can't wait for
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
