I'm going to jail i love you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize