WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize