So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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