I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
