Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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