Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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