I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
