I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
