Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
