Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
