Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
