He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We're too hungover to prance.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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