glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
