It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
