Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
