It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Acid is not a monday night drug
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
