i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
