I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
