is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
