Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
