I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
