I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize