Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No subtext here. People are naked.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
