I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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