Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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