idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
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I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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