it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
