Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
