...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
farters have to be the big spoon...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!