a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When are your genitals available?