As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.