Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?