He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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