What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
