My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
