hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
