and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Randomize
