that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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