you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
