Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
