your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
