absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize