I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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