you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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