it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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