Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
