Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
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we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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