I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
