Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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