nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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