Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just found a bag of teeth...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
