There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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