I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
