"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize